LMP 5 weeks 0 days: Psychosomatic symptoms or just psychosis?

Last night I made the mistake of going to the Fertility Friend pregnancy board. I say mistake because the February Due Dates board is full of women who are barely pregnant (like myself) and have suffered infertility, pregnancy loss, etc (UNLIKE myself).

Now, I am convinced I am having an ectopic pregnancy. You might ask, "Why?" Well, let me tell you. The symptoms of an ectopic pregnancy are

sharp and severe pain in your abdomen,
spotting or unusual bleeding,
missed period,
low levels of HcG,
and sudden severe shoulder pain.

I read those last night in some woman's post about her previous ectopics and thought, "Oh, I'll have to keep those in mind. I don't want a ruptured tube."

Then, this afternoon, while sitting thinking about eating a grilled cheese sandwich, I experienced a dull ache in my shoulder. just the shoulder ache, no spotting, no abdominal pain, no shooting pains near my ovary, just a twinge and a feeling of heat in my shoulder.

Clearly, my pregnancy is ectopic, and I am doomed to have a ruptured tube, because who is going to believe me when I say I need an ultrasound now? I think my doctor is going to EARN his money with me and this pregnancy, because I almost called the office.

But to say what? My shoulder hurts, so please give me an ultrasound of my uterus? Could I even make that phone call with a straight face?

The ache was the sort you might feel from sleeping on your shoulder wrong, or perhaps from, say, swimming laps for the first time in 6 months two days ago.

But, for me, clearly an ectopic. Until I read that shoulder pain is very rare in ectopics, and that it must occur in your "shoulder tip." I couldn't determine what exactly the shoulder tip is.

So I went and ate cake, macaroni and cheese and nachos. and drank a black cherry soda.

I have decided that little Red is probably still where s/he belongs, and that it is my brain that needs to be scanned for signs of rupture.