Sunday, May 15, 2005

CD14: Your Intuition is a Primary Fertility Signal.

I spent all day yesterday stressing about whether or not to do our first insemination. I took an OPK Friday afternoon that was close to positive, and then one Saturday afternoon that was faint, faint, faint. I woke Dyke Two up from a nap and made her look at my cervix at about 5 pm.

In her half awake stupor, she couldn't see anything and claimed that my cervix was gone. She also asked me where the sperm was, and when I told her it was in the closet, she popped up, and loudly asked, "Shouldn't you put it in the refrigerator?"

We returned home from a Thai dinner and ice cream treat at the little stand near the house to discover that the power was out.

All day, I had been fighting a nagging feeling that I was ovulating. My cervix felt soft to the touch, and my mucus was looking more and more eggwhite with each passing hour. When the lights came back on, we cracked out the speculum and tried again. My cervix looked exactly like the picture in TCOYF so we decided to do the first insemination.

Dyke Two opened the tank and carefully put on gardening gloves to remove the tube. The tube (which we spent a lot of money on) held exactly one half milliliter of sperm. Dyke Two immediately began to stress about leaving even a drop of it behind, and kept looking at the tube, and saying, "That's like 25 dollars worth, still hanging there." She transferred it to an oral syringe from CVS, and carefully placed it at the opening of my cervix. (I checked with the 3x makeup mirror as she cursed and tried to remove the last 10 dollars worth.)

I woke up this morning with my temp still hovering at a pre-O level. For this, we were grateful. Our buddy, Gayboy, and I went to finish up the recycling from the rental we are now subletting. At the bottom of the recycling bin, I came across a packet called, "Wishing Dust" that was filled with purple glitter. Gayboy said it came to the newspaper where he works as part of the press package from the release of 13 Going On 30. So, I opened the envelope, tossed some over my head, and made a wish. (I'm not allowed to say what the wish was, but I am guessing you all can figure it out).

We returned from the recycling center, I went to play soccer and spent the afternoon obsessing about whether or not I was feeling O twinges. (I also scored a goal on our own goalie when a ball I was trying to trap ricocheted off my leg and shot straight into the corner of the goal, bouncing slightly off the post for good measure).

After soccer, we did the final insemination. My cervix this time was open enough to stick a finger into it. We didn't stick a finger in, but we did stick the entire eye dropper in. (Dyke Two decided that the eye dropper allowed her to get more into place). I lay in bed, and pretended to be a rotisserie chicken, rotating on a spit for about an hour.

Both of us are feeling hopeful that we nailed it. Thus begins the 2WW. Unless of course my temps don't rise tomorrow.

Here's hoping that the ball stops on Red 17.


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