6 weeks 4 days: Minor freakout last night

Last night was my last school board meeting as president of the education asssociation. The finance department announced the details of the buy out package for our previous superintendent, and it was a doozie. $250,000 lump settlement, plus legal fees and moving expenses and rent reimbursement. When FICA is added in, the cost to the school division was $300,000. Of course, the local news was dying for a statement of my outrage, which I refused to give. Instead, they got a quote that everyone was glad to close this chapter, and that the interim superintendent has our complete support and faith. I joked that I needed one last time in the spotlight, but in reality, I am so glad to see this end. I just want to stay home and read about babies.

When I got home, I went into the bathroom for another pee, and of course, was relieved to see the clean toilet paper. However, when I went to flush, the water in the bowl was bright pink. I nearly passed out until I realized it was coming from my newly created hemorrhoid. disgusting, painful and nasty, but a relief.

This morning, Dyke Two woke me up, holding her fingers slightly apart, and said, "Red is this big right now. I can't wait for our ultrasound Monday."

Apparently, she is reading those books in the bathroom. But why isn't she reading the one I bought her a couple weeks ago, How to Make a Pregnant Woman Happy? When the Korean food and Mexican food were waging war in my intestines, I asked her what I should do for the gas, and she shrugged and said, "I dunno."

I might have to just read the damn book myself.