Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Mixed Emotions...

I quit my job today. Of course, I will finish out the year, and have been planning this for over a year, but it feels really weird that I wrote a letter today saying I don't plan on working next year.

Two weeks ago, I was fantasizing about this day, and now that it has come, I am a little teary. I will miss all of my co-workers, even those who I have grown to hate. I will miss the rhythm of the middle school day, and the unpredictability of working with 11-14 year olds. I will miss the daily dose of rap and hiphop music and dancing each day at lunch. I will miss the Friday afternoon freedom that arrives at 2:30 each day with an early happy hour with my work buddies. I will miss my little guys who I have taught and will even miss their tempers and defiance.

I am excited to start a new chapter of my life, but I am surprisingly emotional about closing this chapter. I am sure that by July, it will really hit me that I am starting a new chapter, and I will be excited to be back at school. I am hoping that some of my student teachers that I will be supervising will be placed at my school. I am also hoping that I might be able to continue subbing at my school. baby steps, baby steps.

I am also a little apprehensive about the fact that I am going to be dependent on another person for my food, clothing and shelter for the foreseeable future. I am not good at giving up independence, even when I know that I can trust Dyke Two to care for me generously and lovingly.


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