Thursday, March 24, 2005

Operation Known Donor: A Status Report

I just got off the phone with Dyke Two who had an email exchange with PKD today.

Dyke Two: Do you think that we will have an answer to our question by the end of the weekend?

PKD: Definitely. I am having dinner with my mom tomorrow, and will talk to you this weekend.

I am trying not to be too excited and difficult to live with, but I am so excited, and probably difficult to live with--hopefully no more so than usual.

This really brings home the fact that we are selecting the person to make a baby with. It is kind of weird, because when people marry each other, they have fallen in love. While the thought of raising children with your spouse may be part of your decision to marry someone, I think very few people look at someone as a provider of genes. Yet that is clearly what has happened here. We listed things that were important to us, and then selected a person who met the highest number of our criteria. It makes the whole thing kind of clinical and a little bizarre.

It sometimes makes me a little uncomfortable, especially as a special education teacher. I hate the idea of people engineering their children, or selecting traits that are steeped in racist, classist or elitist traditions and assumptions. Yet, here I am choosing the genetic material that will be passed onto my children. I think that this is why I am adament that C. have the ultimate choice in who the donor is. I want the genes to be hers, and since they can't, I want her to have picked the person who fits her and feels right to her.


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