Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Just like everybody else...

While much of our journey is very different than that of straight couples making babies, there are actually a lot of similarities. We lie awake at night, worrying about my cycles, which are off this month from last month. We pore over paint chips, nursery furniture, bedding, slings, strollers, and baby clothes as we dream about and plan for the little one we hope will join us soon. We drool over babies and toddlers we encounter in our daily errands and lives. We worry about finances, child care and how our lives will change with the addition of a baby to our lives.

We also struggle with the competing demands of couple time, family obligations, work related stresses and demands, and personal interests and hobbies. We are both becoming frantic with worry about Dyke Two's mother and one of her sisters. This sister is struggling with some addiction and substance abuse issues right now. We would be worried enough with just that, but because the sister has a 5 year old daughter with special needs, we are becoming downright frantic. Currently, Dyke Two's mother is caring for the little girl, and despite her own health needs and disabilities due to chronic arthritis, the little one is well cared for. However, protective services is stepping in and asking for a more permanent and stable living situation.

This means that Dyke Two and I have begun discussing moving Dyke Two's mother and niece the 600 miles to our city. I am surprised at the willingness we both have to parent this little girl with all of her needs. Our biggest concern is what it will do to our relationships with Dyke Two's side of the family.

We are currently playing it by ear to see what happens within the family and the social workers. Our biggest hope is that the mother will follow through on treatment and sobriety so that our niece can remain with her mother. However, we are poised and ready to take action if need be.


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