Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Dyke Two Deserves A Medal...

Last night I had yet another moment in what is shaping up to be a long mini-series of whacky emotions.

In the past four days, I have dissolved into tears three times, all for pretty minor things. Two were wedding related. I can't find a dress that feels right for a lesbian bride who is most comfortable in sweatpants or soccer shorts. When I announced that I was going to be wearing my favorite sweats to the wedding, Dyke Two was very sweet, and simply said that she would invest in a new pair herself. I announced this in the middle of a bridal salon in Suburban Outlet mall. Thankfully, Dyke Two quickly steered me out of the store and into Old Navy, where I happily purchased three pairs of shorts, a tank top and a pair of capris. (I wore the capris yesterday to work, and now I don't like the way they sit at the waist, but you won't hear me complaining).

The second meltdown was last night at 9:15 when I went to submit my taxes on H&R Block Online, only to have Internet Explorer experience a type 2 error and crash. Of course I hadn't saved--did you even need to ask? This was made all the more frustrating because I had spent 4 hours clicking at buttons while doing other things because the server was so slow due to high demand. Again, Dyke Two saved the day by driving me to her office, picking up the paper versions from the help desk (she works in the county office building) and handing me a calculator. 20 minutes later (yes 20) I determined that I am getting back a refund just large enough to pay for our first month of sperm!!

But, the actual moment I wanted to share happened at about 2:30 this morning. I woke up and had to pee. I never wake up in the middle of the night. The earliest I will wake up is about 5:45, in which case I simply take my temp early and pee. I looked at the clock, and saw the big hand on the 6 (I normally temp at 6:30) so I popped the thermometer in my mouth. When I looked at it and saw a post-O record high temp (97.5), I nearly started to cry because I haven't had EWCM yet this month, and am a good three days earlier than last month and 7 days earlier than the month before. Then I looked at the clock again, and realized that it was 2:30, not 6:30. I jumped out of bed and peed, only to climb back into bed absolutely unable to fall back asleep. Dyke Two was snoring next to me, which normally doesn't bother me, but last night I was pretty harsh about it. She tried to get up and go sleep on the couch, but I wouldn't let her. She sighed deeply, and got back into bed. I promptly turned over, and fell back asleep.

My 6:30 temp was a nice and normal 96.7, apparently undisturbed by the middle of the night craziness.

I realize again just how lucky I am to have Dyke Two. I think I need to do something really nice for her SOON. In addition to the three full on meltdowns, she has been the recipient of some very undeserved snapping in the past week as well. I am beginning to get scared of what I will be like when I am actually trying to get pregnant. We both agreed that June will be the earliest we will try. This would allow me to start school next year without being visibly pregnant. Ideally, I will get pregnant in September, giving me a June due date so that I can get through an entire year of coursework before having a baby. We will start in June so that hopefully we will have the timing right by September.

In order to purchase the sperm, we need to have accomplished a few things:

1. My OB/GYN needs to open an account with them, which just involves filling out a form and getting put into their database.

2. We need to save up some cash in order to purchase enough sperm for a few months.

3. My schedule needs to be sufficiently clear to drive the two hours to the bank in order to save $110 a month on shipping.

Since May is historically the worst month in a special ed teacher's life, I can't imagine going through 2WW during IEP season. By pushing back to June, I will be out of school and completely moved out of my rental. (I already live in our new house, but my years of accumulated crud is still at the rental). I also can't imagine asking my principal for the day off in order to drive to Suburban Sprawl to pick up a tank of liquid nitrogen with sperm nestled inside, so being out of school for this endeavor is a good thing.


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