File Under Things Stupid People Say

We were watching C-Span tonight-- trying to cancel out the episodes of Flava of Love and America's Next Top Model, I suppose. They were showing the Florida gubernatorial debate. When the topic of gay marriage came up, I nearly pissed my pants at one of the candidate's responses:

"I support traditional marriage. The kind of marriage my parents had. The kind of marriage I had before my divorce."

Seriously, election day is in seven days.

Got out there and work for good candidates, people. Candidates who will change the course this country is on...

How we spent our Saturday...

So, as I posted many weeks ago, Dyke Two and I are drowning in clutter. We finally decided it was time to tackle the shed today. We opened the shed, laid stuff out on a tarp, and then dragged most of it to the curb. The plan was to post it on Freecycle that it was there, but, random people driving around the neighborhood stopped and milled around waiting for us to bring out more. As the day progressed, Bigfella transformed into a Holler baby. Our part of Smallcity is sometimes called "the Holler." It is near the stockyards, the trailer park and the sewage treatment plant. The morning started with Bigfella sitting in his Bugaboo, fully clothed, wearing a Seventh Generation diaper and eating organic babyfood. By early afternoon, he had lost his pants, his socks and shoes, was covered in dirt, and was wearing a generic diaper from K-Mart. So much for us gentrifying the neighborhood.

At one point, I burst out laughing while going through the piles of junk. I opened a box full of stuff that my old housemate left in our basement and found a small, unopened shipping box inside. I opened the shipping box and found a little toy. Thank goodness we found it before the neighbor guy we hired to help us out...

Yet more proof that we have a long way to go...

My mom is the chair of the local democrats in one of the rural counties surrounding Smallcity. Their annual dinner was at the firehouse Saturday night. Being the proud Grandma that she is, she begged us to chauffeur Bigfella to dinner, and being the attentions whore mothers (and afficionados of southern cooking) that we are, we readily agreed. Dinner was fabulous: fried chicken, mashed potatoes, greens, sweet tea, biscuits and 8 kinds of pie, all homemade by the Ladies Firehouse Auxiliary. Yummm, fried chicken, sweet potato pie, coconut cream pie...

Anyway, I digress. We arrived at the firehouse, and Grandma promptly absconded with Bigfella, making the rounds to each table, thanking everyone for coming. Bigfella smiled and clapped, giving people five and giggling at them. We schlepped our stuff to a table and introduced ourselves to the lovely couple that was already sitting there.

Me: Hi! I'm [insert real name here]. My mom has our son with her.

Dyke Two was hooking the booster seat to the chair, but before I could introduce her, the woman said...

Random Woman at Dinner: [to Dyke Two] Oh, do you help her with the baby?
Me: [confused look on my face] Whhaa...
RWAD: Or are you a friend of theirs?
Me: No, [insert real name here]is my partner. She's Bigfella's mother, too.
RWAD: Oh. [awkward silence...]

We knew it would happen eventually, but we weren't expecting it that night, at the democratic dinner of all places. The woman we were talking with was not an active member of the committee. All of the committee members know that Dyke Two and I are a couple. They saw pictures of the wedding. They saw pictures of Bigfella's birth. But, this random woman didn't know. So she assumed (and with that came what always comes with assuming) that Dyke Two was the nanny. Don't we wish we had the money to hire one...

So, explain this one to me...

I am TAing a class on Tuesdays. The class meets from 4 to 7 pm, so each week, we have different students bring snacks.

Two weeks ago, the snack included Double Stuff Oreos. Double Stuff Oreos are milk, egg and soy free. I tore into that double stuff goodness and ate and ate and ate. Until I realized I had to speak to 30 people afterwards. And that Oreos make your teeth look like you've been eating dirt. So, I spent the next 20 minutes trying to get the oreo crumbs out of my teeth.

This week, the snack included (non-double stuff) Oreos. Plain Oreos are milk and egg free. But, the white creme filling is soybean shortening. I sadly put the plain oreos back on the table and ate Pretzels. At least my teeth didn't look like I was eating dirt.

Overheard: A Jesus Freak Says What??

Sitting in my favorite coffeeshop today, I tried to read a chapter of my Statistics text. Instead, I got distracted by this conversation between a mom and her college-aged son:

Son: So, did you hear about the congressman who was accused of sending sexual emails to young boys? He got caught, and now he's saying he's gay.

Mom: See, this is exactly why we shouldn't teach homosexuality in the schools. They just aren't honest about what all of this entails. It's just like with stem cell research. Do you know that the only way to obtain the cells for stem cell research is to do partial birth abortions and smash the skulls of the living babies to harvest their organs?

Son: I'm so glad I decided to be honest with you. I could have totally lied to dad, but there is no way I could have lied to you. Within a day, you would have known that I was spending 5 days in jail.

Mom: I just hope your time there opened your heart to the word of Jesus.


I really try to be tolerant of all viewpoints. I do. I really do. But, I think I have an inkling of why the schism between people in the US exists. Dyke Two thinks I should have called her on her inaccuracies. I decided I just wanted to finish the chapter on Fixed-Effects ANOVA. And drink my coffee in peace.