the longer you stay away, the harder it is to come back...

I know it has been weeks since my last post. During that time, Red State became purple, Smallcity proved itself to be the bluest spot in the newly purple sea, and my fellow residents of Red State showed their homophobia and voted for yet another marriage amendment.

I spent a few weeks in mourning, and began to resurface and think about a post a week or so before Thanksgiving. But, each passing day increased the pressure to make that post a brilliant post. You know, a polished, insightful, funny and poignant post. I wanted to write about Bigfella walking, about our visit to my parents' house, about the anxiety attacks I have been having, about our new daycare, about Bigfella's allergy tests, about the solid foods he is finally eating, about our stupid cat who is pissing in the corner of Bigfella's room, about Bigfella's eczema, and about how much I hate the classes I am taking this semester--though my advisor likes my research proposal...

And it just wasn't in me. So, I stayed away.

But, today is my birthday, and I decided to bite the bullet and just write. Not only is today my birthday, it is also Bigfella's Womb Day (OK, I just made up that phrase). Today, is the day that marks his life outside of me being longer than his life inside of me. Our boy, born on Dyke Two's birthday, outside for longer on my birthday. I am so thankful to have him in my life. Three years ago, when I turned 29, I had no idea how wonderful my 30's would be. I have never been happier...