What the hell??

Drum roll, please. The results are in.

The pediatrician just called with the results of Bigfella's allergy tests. For those of you who are hip to the lingo, he had a RAST, not a SPT. For those of you not hip to the allergy scene, he had the less sensitive of the two types of the testing. I don't know the actual numbers, since the doctor who is the allergy specialist is still on vacation, and our pediatrician had laryngitis, and we didn't grill him too much for the details...

...So, for those of you who are interested: a RAST food panel for the top 6 foods, and cats and dogs thrown in for good measure showed:

a mild milk allergy (no surprise there)
a mild egg allergy (kind of expecting it)
a moderate peanut allergy (this is a total shock)
no soy allergy (this is even a bigger shock)
a moderate cat allergy (not a shocker)
a high reaction for dogs (a shock, but my absolute worst fear)

We have three cats and two dogs. Orangedog is perhaps the most important living creature in my life, besides Bigfella (sorry Dyke Two). Orangedog saved my life 10 years ago when I went into a major depression. Orangedog loves Bigfella, and Bigfella loves Orangedog. We already had a plan formulated for the cats and Bigfella living together. We have a sunporch that we can move the cats to, and keep Bigfella away from them. But the dogs. I am seriously sick to my stomach at the thought of finding my dogs a new home.

The peanut allergy hasn't even sunk in. (I also have no plans to reintroduce soy into my diet, since I know we might have had a false negative on the RAST since he hasn't been exposed to soy in months...) I know that epipens are in our future, but the dogs and cats are more of an issue to me right now. I am sure the nuts will be a bigger issue in the long run, and will cause us plenty of angst, but right now, we are still in shock...

the longer you stay away, the harder it is to come back...

I know it has been weeks since my last post. During that time, Red State became purple, Smallcity proved itself to be the bluest spot in the newly purple sea, and my fellow residents of Red State showed their homophobia and voted for yet another marriage amendment.

I spent a few weeks in mourning, and began to resurface and think about a post a week or so before Thanksgiving. But, each passing day increased the pressure to make that post a brilliant post. You know, a polished, insightful, funny and poignant post. I wanted to write about Bigfella walking, about our visit to my parents' house, about the anxiety attacks I have been having, about our new daycare, about Bigfella's allergy tests, about the solid foods he is finally eating, about our stupid cat who is pissing in the corner of Bigfella's room, about Bigfella's eczema, and about how much I hate the classes I am taking this semester--though my advisor likes my research proposal...

And it just wasn't in me. So, I stayed away.

But, today is my birthday, and I decided to bite the bullet and just write. Not only is today my birthday, it is also Bigfella's Womb Day (OK, I just made up that phrase). Today, is the day that marks his life outside of me being longer than his life inside of me. Our boy, born on Dyke Two's birthday, outside for longer on my birthday. I am so thankful to have him in my life. Three years ago, when I turned 29, I had no idea how wonderful my 30's would be. I have never been happier...