Friday, June 23, 2006

Seems like an epidemic going on

In recent weeks, I have read many posts on various blogs about folks going to their 10th college reunions. We can add me to the 10 years out set. Bigfella and I went to my 10th reunion over Memorial Day. A great time was had by all. There were eight of us in my house senior year, and we were all together for the first time since graduation. Of course, one of the eight is my first girlfriend, who dumped me the following year for the woman she is still with. They had their second son two months before Bigfella was born. I had a lot of anger toward both of them for many years, even harboring some during our 5 year reunion. (At our fifth, I told First Girlfriend that I had forgiven her, which was a lie, but I needed to say it so that eventually I would forgive her. She responded by saying that she hadn't forgiven herself). As I moved through my years as president of the education association, travelled around the country meeting other LGBT educators, gave presentations nationally on gay issues in the schools, got appointed to the board of our state gay rights group, and started my doctorate last fall, I began to realize that professionally, my life had developed perfectly. When I met Dyke Two, got engaged, bought our house, got pregnant, got married and had Bigfella, I realized that I was happier now than I ever was with First Girlfriend.

But, back to reunion. We went out for delicious food, hung out with the babes on the college green, stayed up late talking, drank lots of coffee, went to our favorite old haunts. All in all, a very nice weekend. I thought that First Girlfriend and I had a very good time together. I even thought that her partner enjoyed our time together. The best part of the whole event, as I remarked to one of the housemates as we drove to our hotel, is that the weekend crystallized to me how happy I am with the path I ended up on. Reunions seem to be a time when you get to stop and visit with the various potential selves you could have become. When I visited with those potential selves, I had no regrets. I do love the person I have become.

Yesterday, we finally got it together to send photos to each other. I opened First Girlfriend's website and realized that, in her archives of the event, Bigfella and I did not appear once. Not once. There is no photographic evidence that we were there. We aren't in any reunion pictures. We aren't even in any of the pictures from the wedding the weekend before. There are photos of the rest of the folks at our table, but it is like the end of the table where Dyke Two, Bigfella and I were sitting didn't exist.

I can't help but think that possibly First Girlfrlend didn't experience the same peace when she visited with her potential selves.


At 2:36 PM, Blogger Anonymous Assclown said...

I think she's probably dealing with her own things right now and the omission of your pics was less about you and more about her and her own partner. Maybe she didn't want new partner to feel threatened? Or maybe new partner told her not to put your pics up. No way of knowing - short of asking, that is.

At 9:43 PM, Blogger Northwoods Baby said...

I'd like to think that in an adult relationship of several years' duration, new partner would have the sense to realize that Dyke One was not a threat to the relationship. And maybe that First Girlfriend would decide that hey, Dyke One was an acknowledged part of my life and a) denying it is pretending it never happend with is not entirely healthy and b) there's no reason to kowtow to new partner's paranoia.

But then again, I'm a cold bitch.

PS, twenty year reunion this year but only five in my class so not so much with the get-together.


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