An Homage to Shel Silverstein...

If you have to make your coffee
To save a buck or two
If you have to make your coffee
To keep blood from baby's poo
If you use your stove top maker,
And it explodes across the room,
Maybe you won't have to
Make your coffee anymore.

Seriously, folks. In an attempt to be frugal, I decided to feed the coffee monkey on my back (he found me again while I was staying with my parents--bastards make coffee multiple times a day...) by making coffee at home. After all, not only would I save money on buying the coffee at my favorite coffeeshop, I would also be able to use rice milk (better for me and Bigfella) without carting a box of the stuff with me all over the place. (I did find rice milk in 8 ounce drinkboxes, but only really want about 5 ounces in my biggie jumbo vat of coffee, which left 3 ounces of rice milk wasted or consumed separately. It also tacks a dollar onto the cost of the cup of coffee.)

So, yesterday I decided to start being virtuous. I started the coffee in the espresso maker, visions of cappuccino dancing in my head. If not cappuccino (who knows if the rice milk would steam properly) at least I could have a nice iced latte. I poured my rice krispies, sprinkled them with blueberries, added rice milk and poured a glass of OJ. I went into the living room, where Bigfella was happily hanging out in his exersaucer (don't tell the physical therapist police that you know) and Dyke Two was watching The People's Court (don't tell the Good Taste police that you know). After a few minutes, I went into the kitchen, where I was greeted with this:



and this:



and this:



After I finished laughing, Dyke Two and I ventured closer to the stove top, and discovered this:



"Honey," I said, "I love you."

"Mmmmph."

"Just think how lucky we are!"

"Mmmmmph?"

"Bigfella and I could have been in the kitchen when this happened! We were both saved from being scalded." (I was really scrambling there to come up with a silver lining to this cloud.)

"Dyke One, sweetheart, from now on, I want you to buy a cup of coffee anywhere, anytime you want one. It's just not worth the time it takes to clean up your coffee making mess."

So, this morning, Bigfella and I went to the coffeeshop and bought a cup of coffee.

And, just to indulge my Bigfella obsession, here he is, helping me create this post:



Don't laugh at a boy, just because he has to wear a bib to contain the drool. Teething is hard work.