Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Because I missed the Victoria's Secret Nurse-In...

First a quick medical update: I have my gallbladder surgery tomorrow. We have to be at the surgery center at 11 am, with a tentative OR reservation at 12:30. If all goes according to plan, I should be home by 4. I am not sure when I will be back on line to update...

But, back to the main point, I thought for a few brief minutes on Monday that I was about to have to organize a nurse in at Lowe's.

Our town, as wonderful as it is, has no Home Depot. All we have is Lowe's, which has always been smaller, dirtier, darker and more crowded than Home Depot. And, we always have to track down a sales associate to help us out. At Home Depot, back when I was pregnant, the associates were falling over themselves to help us out. One of them even walked me to the bathroom.

So, Monday, we decided to go to Lowe's to buy the supplies I need to make a tiled tabletop for an old sewing machine stand. We got the tiles, the wood, the grout. All we needed was something to use as a trim to hide the messy edge. We wandered over toward millwork, and were looking at various pieces of molding. An associate came over and asked what we were doing. He then suggested that we go talk to the folks in the flooring area and see what they could do for us.

I stood and waited, Bigfella in his sling, for a solid 15 minutes. Finally, I found a sales associate who called me "Sir" and then suggested talking to the kitchen folks when he heard the type of project I was working on. I went to the kitchen area, where I waited for another 10 minutes. Bigfella was getting hungrier and hungrier, and the associate said something that sent me into a tailspin:

Me: I'm tiling a table top and need something like the trim on this countertop to hide the messy edges from view.

Evil Kitchen Man: Well, that's a custom piece.

Me: Well, I want to buy the materials to make that type of trim.

EKM: OK, what you need to do is tell your handyman what you want. He'll know what materials to buy to make that.

Me: But, I'm doing this project myself. There is no "guy."

EKM: Oh, then I guess you need to go to millwork.

Millwork! Right where I had been 30 minutes earlier. I stormed out of the area, and found Dyke Two in the lawn and garden area. Bigfella was, at this point, starving. I wanted to just leave the cart full of stuff sitting there with a little note saying, "We're boycotting your sexist asses!"

I'd like to end this story with me storming to the manager's office, explaining all the while that they were never going to get our business again.

Instead, Bigfella and I went to the patio furniture to nurse while Dyke Two went to millwork to find the molding I needed.

I was just waiting for one of those stupid little Lowe's men to come up and tell me I couldn't nurse in the furniture area. I was ready. I was set to yell at him, and then go home and start faxing and posting.

But, the only person who said anything was a woman with her two children:

I remember when I used to do that! It seems like only yesterday...


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